The Orange Vest

Motorcycle taxi stands are dotted throughout Bangkok. Probably thousands of them, they are little more than the parked motorcycles and their operators lounging around waiting for fares. If the location is adjacent to an empty lot they might have a simple bench and lean-to banged together, maybe a hammock or two strung out and the always present game of draughts (checkers) going on between two riders with a handful of others looking on. The board is a piece of found wood with the squares drawn in and the pieces are bottle caps, opposing players using either right-side up or upside down caps to distinguish them.

Walking through the streets of Bangkok on any given day you can walk past dozens of such stands with as few as 5 or as many as 30 motorcycles and riders waiting for customers. You also see hundreds of such drivers blasting recklessly through the streets, dodging and swerving around cars that are stalled in traffic jams. One of their benefits is this relative ease of movement compared to cars. The trade-off is the danger of riding on the back of one with no real protection and subject to the careless driving of the fool in control and the other lunatics in traffic.

I've witnessed numerous mishaps involving motorcycle taxis. One woman I saw was wearing a long flowing skirt which became entangled in the rear sprocket, jerking her to the concrete. Most women passengers ride side-saddle as they are wearing skirts or dresses and they often preen themselves in a mirror or talk on their mobile phones oblivious to their close brushes with death.

All motorcycle taxi drivers are distinguished by the coloured vests they wear. Orange, red or yellow are the usual colours, the thin but seemingly durable vests an indication that the driver is "legitimate", like a substitute for the license that hangs inside most cabs.

The vests go for anywhere from 50 to 100, 000 baht plus ongoing monthly payments, the "licensing fee" paid to the local mafia who apparently control all such operations. Not a small sum (the average monthly income in Thailand is about 3000 baht) for the usually uneducated lower-class individuals who aspire to a steady income and the freedom of working relatively independently.

After last year's butchering spree in which at least 2000 were killed in the government declared "war on drugs", the brilliant fucker in charge of this nuthouse decided to cast the net even wider with the insane campaign labeled the "war on dark influences". It seemed like a license to blow apart the skulls of anyone the government decided fell under the vaguely ominous category.

However, there was at least one specific initiative as part of the new assault on logic and civil liberties that seemed to make sense. That was the announcement that the "motorcycle mafia" that controlled the two-wheeled taxis would be destroyed and the drivers allowed to pursue a legitimate livelihood free from extortion.

The first part of this ostensibly just attempt at cleaning up the racket involved instituting a license that motorcycle taxi drivers would have to buy from the government. This aspect became law but amidst the growing condemnation from the rest of the world regarding the drug war slaughter, the war on dark influences seemed to peter out.

The motorcycle drivers were forgotten, and many now say that they pay the government license fee while continuing to cough up to the mafia.

Where there is the noticeable absence of a government that is seen to be competent and just and concerned with the citizens, organized crime seems to have more opportunities to gain traction. Sometimes the mafia simply end up alerting the competition to a new and profitable enterprise...

Cross-posted at: Flogging the Simian

Loads of New Shit

Since Google acquired Blogger this past year there has been some anticipation as to what changes they might implement.

Just in the past month or so there have been some great new additions. No more ads for one thing. Also, as you have probably already noticed there is new navigation bar at the top. If you are looking for a particular nugget of shit and don't want to wade through the horsehit that I have spewed here to find it, you can now use the search feature to look solely within this blog. This is also useful for someone who may have shown up here via a search engine and has not arrived at the particular post that contained what they were looking for.

Alternatively, the miasma emanating from this colossal, steaming pile of feces may be so thoroughly repulsive to you that you require a quick exit. In which case the "Next Blog" button allows you to surf an endless river of similarly shitty blogs.

If you feel that you want to contaminate someone else's mind with this shit, simply click on the small envelope icon at the bottom of every entry, allowing you to e-mail the link for that particular post to your loved ones and enemies.

"I pledge my allegiance to the City of Angels..."

With one week to go, the election campaign for Bangkok Governor heats up...

The rains seem to have been heavier this year, the cool torrents lashing down in sheets, washing the filth from the streets of Bangkok. But the grime just doesn't go away. It keeps coming back, coating the nightmare landscape, objects, people...that rancid, ubiquitous layer of filth that infuses everything...

The election campaign for Bangkok Governor is on...

A better economy and more money for middle and upper class Thais isn’t enough to blunt the long string of questionable statements and actions from the Thai PM. Like the claim that 4 soldiers killed in an army raid back in January "deserved to die." There's a "som nam na" (deserving of misfortune) sentiment building against billionaire boy and his band of boondoggle brokering bunglers. Early in his term, Thaksin could do no wrong but now it's the Midas touch in reverse...

Fearing a drubbing for any candidate fielded or formally endorsed by his Thai Rak Thai (TRT) party, Thaksin is ostensibly steering clear of any involvement in the August 29 election for Bangkok's new governor. He's got the police force and army sewn up so to be genial and fair and in the hopes of a healthier democracy he's decided to watch from a distance. (Oh, the seedy looking bloke skulking by the corner is a good bet...ask if he'll hold your passport and valuables while you nip in for a quick one...)

The truth has been harder to keep down, as at least 3 candidates have been mentioned as receiving the support of the TRT. Three that deny this backing by the party that denied the endorsements while still hoping to sway potential voters with that non-support...

So who's on the honour roll of Thailand's finest, the straight shooters, the benevolent souls who wish to offer their dedication to the selfless position of governor of Bangkok?

"Here's the book full of mugshots mate, take a look and tell us what yer thinkin' is. Seen 'em anywhere?"

Chuwit Kamolvisit

One of the at least 3 candidates who has at some point received unofficial backing from some within the TRT.

The name invokes images of bug-eyed theatrical pleas and claims of innocence. Long known in Bangkok as a purveyor of female flesh in the string of massage parlours he owns, Chuwit was in the news in a big way last year after this demolition. As any innocent person would do, he went into hiding (or was kidnapped, depending on who you believe) following reports that he had masterminded the destruction to expedite the building of a new hotel. Whoever was behind the early morning annihilation surely wanted to avoid those annoying little details like having to deal with those people who owned businesses and made a livelihood there.

Like a cornered patsy running into a crowded street from a back alley to escape his attackers, Chuwit then cried "bribery" long and loud. "Bribery" as in the 20 million baht per month he claimed to have been paying police to allow him to operate the high-end brothels that helped make his fortune. Weeping like a schoolgirl for the cameras, Chuwit actually seemed to convince many of the authentic nature of his public display. Not the only merchant of lascivious lechery in the land of leering loose-limbed ignorant occidentals, but the only one treated so unfairly by the boys in brown...

This ongoing drama has created a strange pathos for Chuwit (or perhaps expectations of future comic relief) in the forgiving hearts of Thais and he seems to have a legitimate shot at the governor's seat. This is the official endorsement from Pistonhips for the peddler prince of prurience. The potential for farce is just too irresistible. In the past, a long line of Thai politicians have called news conferences that are held in front of garish neon signs that adorn Bangkok's handful of red light districts, so they can announce with a straight face that there...simply...is...no...prostitution...in...Thailand. It's illegal, so it can't exist.

"My utterance, nay the very entity-unto-myself, crackling energy of almightiness surrounding my proclamation supercedes all else, even reality and makes this structure, these scarred and haggard faces with no names, these broken lives and parasitic exploitative fortunes made for others, all a twisted figment of the collective imagination."

Maybe the same far-removed, isolated and privileged thinking that can't comprehend why anyone would take the merest notice at the subtle and nuanced debacle that launched Chuwit into the spotlight in the first place. Ironically it has also provided him with a great deal of publicity and probably increased his chance of winning this race.

The prospect of Chuwit standing proud, true and tall and making those unctuous denials is something that somehow makes him the most appropriate person for the job. Having made billions off that which doesn't exist, having failed to liquidate that which he used to exploit that which is not an issue, now in charge of the city that is free from that which never lined his pockets with the misery of others. "The Pimp Governor of Bangkok" somehow has a nice artificial ring to it. Go Chuwit!!! (We expect cut-rate massages in the ethereal nether world of non-existent bordellos once you assume your rightful position.)

Chalerm Yubamrung

Another candidate with ties to Thaksin (and in fact a member of the ruling Thai Rak Thai party) who is now playing down that connection. We're confident that were he elected there would be no strange revisionist history of whose logic only he understood and that allowed a renewed relationship with his old friend.

A caring fatherly sort who always looks out for the two rambunctious lads who are his sons. Unfortunately the lads have let him down at times. Sure they only copped a few poppers...err, that's accused of having popped a copper. But the rogue in question has been cleared so we can't cast aspersions after things have been so thoroughly investigated and tried before impartial judges. In fact, this is a testament to the resolve of Chalerm at having withstood incredible stress during the time his son was unfairly being hounded for something he was ultimately cleared of. Let it stand as a reminder of what those involved in various criminal justice systems the world over have long known regarding the unreliability of eyewitnesses. When it's initially a dozen or more whittled down to 6 or 7, it's still an indication of how unreliable those 6 or 7 were, despite the fact their stories may have corroborated one another.

If elected, Chalerm could spend millions on a study of physiognomy with himself as the specimen, all for the benefit of mankind and the elevation of Thailand to a position among the world leaders in cutting-edge research. The goal would be to find out if that look that seems to afflict the wealthy and connected and becomes a permanent fixture over time, is genetic, or if it actually results from the lifelong feelings the person is imbued with and that ingrain themselves in the waxy, sneering visage. That smug, almost mocking look that says "Thank whatever gods there are that my attainment of wealth and status has elevated me above mere mortals, free from the same consequences for actions that most accept as a responsibility of being alive..."

This past week he was asked to withdraw from the race by the TRT in hopes of siphoning off some of his support to another candidate, Pavena Hongsakul.

Pavena Hongsakul

The lovely Pavena. Beauty runs in the family, her sister a former Miss Thailand Universe. Is she too good to be true? A champion of abused women and a protector of children she has been praised by many for raising awareness about these issues. A social activist who if elected could use her position to help alleviate the injustices suffered by society's most vulnerable. Pavena has also been singled out as Thai Rak Thai's candidate, something she denies. Get to the dance first...who you go home with at the end of the night is something that can be obfuscated, justified or just plain lied about the next morning...

Apirak Kosayothin

Latest poll results put Apirak as the frontrunner. Free from any political baggage, he looks like the choice of most middle-class Bangkokians. A member of the Democrat party, the absence of any perceived meddling by Thaksin et al as well as the knowledge that if elected he would be a much-needed check against complete TRT control, makes him the current favourite. His well-scrubbed image earned as a successful businessman is another positive aspect working for Apirak.

Bhichit Rattakul

Bhichit, a former governor of Bangkok from 1996-200, rounds out the top 5 in popularity, according to recent polls. His late entry into the contest has skewed earlier standings and turned the campaign into a real race. While appearing to be a long shot, the last week of campaigning is sure to be full of many surprises and Bhichit may pick up some last minute "devil-we-know" votes.

Bhichit has even received some support from TRT MPs though this doesn't sit well with their leader. In trying to set matters straight regarding all the various warnings about which candidates TRT members are allowed to support while trying to highlight a long tradition of fairness in Thai politics, Thaksin said:

"We are a democratic country and we can say whatever we want if it is not beyond the boundary. If it is, the party will stop them."

And on that magnanimous note, the last week should be full of unexpected turns and unintentional farce. Votes will be bought, deals will be made and in the end someone will emerge from the filth, ready to tackle the problems and challenges that face this proud and great city!

Recent poll results

Candidate websites:

Apirak Kosayothin

Pavena Hongsakul

Chuwit Kamolvisit

Chalerm Yubamrung

Bhichit Rattakul

There are 22 candidates in total.

*Some time later, Pistonhips receives a strange call requesting his presence. Pistonhips walks into the pre-arranged meeting place and sidles up to the bar. 2 men come up beside him, one driving a knife into his hand that is laying on the bar, pinning it to the wooden surface while the other starts garroting him from behind...*

"Achhh...ahhh...Jaysus...lads, relax it's only words that hardly anyone's gonna read anyway. Hcchaaa *gasp*...ahhhhhh...give me a bre...no I mean please let me go , I’ll add a disclaimer...it's not real, satire pure and simple...aaieeeeeeeeeeeEEE!!!!

Cross-posted at:Flogging the Simian

A Sad Story

It would be hard to imagine a country that is more of an antithesis to Thailand than is Germany. Efficient and well-ordered with a populace that is known for being humourless, demanding and goal-oriented all in a relatively dreary and cold climate.

So it was sad to hear that a young Thai student living in Germany on an exchange program became so overwhelmed that after only one month she felt the only way out was to take her own life.

It would be easy to cast about to assign blame. For example, the Thai tendency to focus on image, pomp and ceremony over substance and competence. In this case, reaching even a minimum level of proficiency in the German language before sending the girl off would have been advisable but of course it didn't happen.

Even more difficult for her family is that in the weeks leading up to her overdose on sleeping pills (though she survived but finished the job by leaping to her death from a window in the hospital where she was recovering) she repeatedly phoned and begged to return home. Anyone faced with the same pleas from their child would reasonably see it as a logical situation to use tough love. The first time away from home can be tough for someone, especially when they are from an incredibly insular culture and that initial experience is in a foreign country. Seeing this as only one of a multitude of lessons to be learned when growing up, it's hard to see any fault in the family's urging her to hang on.

Maybe even after that desperate act that landed her in hospital she sensed a disapproving scorn from a people who strive to avoid loss of self-control. Where she would have been surrounded by loved ones cooing their support had it happened in Thailand, perhaps the guttural clipped language and sickly hospital food brought home the reality even more and she took the final plunge. Speaking of blame, someone who has been admitted to hospital after trying to kill themselves should surely be watched or at least be in a room devoid of possibilities for finishing the job.

Stories like this always cause a round of hand-wringing with the usual stock cliches being bandied about. The importance of maintaining Thai culture against the ever-present big bad western influence while still recognizing that the wider world does have positive benefits to offer. The idea of foreign cultures is one that many young Thais almost seem obsessed with. The reality rarely jibes with the images of Hollywood movies and music videos than many of them have grown up with.

The Olympics Brings out the Best in People...

Today the newspapers in Thailand are full of stories about the Deputy Prime Minister and a singular act of stupidity and arrogance. What did he do?

Why, he braced the Thai woman who won a gold medal in weight-lifting at the Olympics and promptly demanded that she hand over the medal so that he could return to Thailand with it and…this is where the incomprehensibility starts ramming its head against the brick wall of mind-numbing fucking insanity...apparently take credit for her win(?), absorb the love, praise and well-wishes from all those he assumed would be amazed at his stunning shrewdness in making such a head-up-the-ass move? WTF? Just WTF? WTF? WTF? over and over to infinity.

One can only imagine the phone conversation he had with the Thai PM after securing the medal...

Deputy Prime Minister: "I got it! She was a bit reluctant at first but what could she do…she handed it over tee hee hee!"

Prime Minister: "Superb! Excellent! This will play so well in the media! Her, a poor peasant girl who struggled and worked hard to achieve her dream, becoming the first Thai woman to ever win a gold medal at the Olympics, and us the corrupt lying scum that sweep in and demand that we be the ones to return home with the actual medal. Sure, she may have enjoyed keeping it with her in the hours and days after having been awarded the medal, felt the pride at returning home with it around her neck, the very symbol of all her hard work and dedication...but I just know the Thai people and the world for that matter will understand what a necessary move this was.

I'm sure this will make them forget the corruption, the thousands butchered in the drug war last year, people who oppose us turning up dead all the time, the brazen lies, the fact that my son got caught cheating at university and then the timid dismissive claims by officials that it didn't matter, my daughter who was accepted into the best university in the land with substandard grades, an associate of mine whose son put a bullet in a cop's head with dozens of witnesses and then walked free...THIS, THIS masterstroke of PR genius will sweep it all away!!!"

PM: "Tee hee hee!! Oh I'm so excited! I'm happy that you're pleased boss!"

PM: "Say, are you still capable of that I-just-got-caught-eating-gopher-shit grin?"

DMP: "Sure!"

PM: "Good, just make sure you have it smeared across your mug when the cameras start clicking, and make sure you hold up the medal as if it was you and your diseased, emaciated, lesioned carcass that earned it..."

What's most laughable is the desperate lies that are vomited forth when the fool gets called on his unbelievable arrogance and stupidity. The tit claims he urgently needed to get the medal back to Thailand where he could have a solid gold replica made for her.

Southern Fury

A slow ride by train from Bangkok to the south of Thailand is the only decent way (besides airplane) to make the journey. The hours drag out, but with the relative comfort compared to cramped buses, seats that pull down into beds for the overnight portion and the addition of a good book, it almost becomes enjoyable. It's been a few years since I travelled to Hat Yai in the south, a quick stopover before changing to mini bus which took me a few hours further south, over the border into Malaysia and the city of Penang where I sorted out some official business at the Thai embassy.

The south is unique for its sweltering humidity and heat, the Muslim majority population and extra-spicy cuisine. It also serves as a gateway to some of Thailand's many islands that are popular with tourists, though continuing development and the burgeoning sector for discount, internal airlines now allows many to avoid the overland option.

Ironically, the weather that is hotter by degrees than in the rest of the country results in a regional accent that is notable for its faster, clipped tempo. The opposite of what a person might expect, perhaps it facilitates finishing up with minor annoyances such as conversing so a person can concern themselves with more important matters such as finding a cool place to slump over and gain a brief respite from the heat.

The culture and feel is distinct in the south but the friendly, "mai pen rai" attitude (literally "it doesn't matter") that Thailand is famous for still prevails. Everyone associates places they have travelled to with something special or memorable. Thoughts of the south always makes my mouth water thinking about the fresh bags of cashews that can be purchased from roadside vendors. They taste best slugged back with a few cold beers at the dusty restaurant cum-karaoke lounges with fold-out chairs and tables, an inside area with fans or air-conditioning if you're lucky, and usually supplemented with an outdoor patio and the ever-present string of coloured lights as the only real decoration.

Unfortunately the economy is hurting in the south, a culture of fear and suspicion has sprung up and worst of all people are unnecessarily dying at a fairly regular pace as a low-level civil war has been going on for the past 2 years, with barely a mention in the international press.

There is much history regarding the dispute between Buddhists and Muslims in the south dating back as far as 500 years. In its most recent incarnation during the past 50 years it is premised on claims of cultural insensitivity and lack of Muslim representation in the Thai government that many feel does not give a fair hearing to regional and religious concerns. Brief flare-ups that have included bombings, killings and various spells of heightened tension have been all part of the south of Thailand since that time (and especially since the early '70's) but never to this degree. Here I will simply highlight the events of the past year when things have taken another turn for the worse:

• On January 4, 2004, Thailand wakes to the morning news that tells of the torching of 21 schools in the south the night before. Thankfully no one is hurt but this is the event that marks a palpable worsening of things in the 5 southern-most provinces.
  
  
• On the same night (Jan.4) of coordinated violence and mayhem, a Thai army outpost is raided and a large cache of weapons are stolen. The assumption is made that Muslim extremists orchestrated the heist and will use them in future attacks (interesting follow-up on this one--the Thai government has now offered trips to Mecca for tips that might lead to recovery of the weapons.)
  
  
• Following close on the heels of the arson attacks, a Buddhist monk is hacked to death. This gutless and shameless act was obviously intended to drive a wedge between the Buddhists and Muslims of Thailand and the pathos it elicited from anyone is an indication of how effective it was.
  
  
• An innocent young Thai schoolgirl is also senselessly attacked and killed during this time frame. Again sickening it its complete absence of any mercy or humanity.
  
  
• On April 28th, an organized morning attack by armed assailants sees an efficient and deadly response from the Thai army with 107 of the mostly young Muslim men leading the charge being killed. The quick response from the Thai army leads to speculation that they were tipped off and this fact is quickly confirmed. 30 of the attackers hole up in a mosque and are given one way tickets to eternity by the band of Thai soldiers who strafe their position with an eruption of gunfire. Not much sympathy for those slaughtered though at that point they had nowhere to go and if a more peaceful resolution had been sought it would have resulted in more sources of information for the government. A good point was also raised by some in the media that if the location had been a Buddhist temple it is unlikely the army would have been so quick to open up.
  
  
• An MP from the ruling Thai Rak Thai party is arrested on charges of treason after being implicated in helping to plan the raid that took place on the army base in January. No clear detailed information has emerged but at the least it demonstrates how organized the insurgents are and how widespread the rage is that is motivating them.
  
  
• Throughout this time there have been multiple small bombings including this one at the end of March and another one just this past week. Molotov cocktails tossed by riders on motorcycles have been common and some type of makeshift bomb using what appears to be propane tanks have been showing up as well.
  
  
• An estimate of the number dead just from the heightened period starting in January of this year is as many as 300, including the Muslim youths killed in the raid and the remaining victims mainly Thai policemen.
  

This is where things stand at the moment. Martial law has been in effect since January and at one point 1000 schools were closed for a number of days as a precautionary measure. Not surprisingly, doctors, teachers and other government officials are balking at the prospect of being assigned to work in the south.

There are so many questions surrounding the conflict and the lack of any real investigation by journalists in the region (at least in the handful of English language outlets—ones with any real resources and actually doing independent digging) makes it difficult to come to any conclusions beyond speculation. Those launching the attacks are Muslims, they do want some grievances addressed and many involved do want a separate state.

At least one known group with specific demands is PULO (Pattani United Liberation Organization) which has been around since the 1970's and wants independence for the southern province of Pattani. They and probably other organizations are likely being supported with financing and weapons from other groups in the region and due to proximity, Malaysia is the country where most people point the finger. At the same time, anecdotal evidence indicates that many of the Thai Muslims don't support their tactics and some don't even share their wishes for reshaping the south. Many of the victims have been Muslim as well.

In the wake of 9/11 and the world-wide convulsions taking place it's hard not to believe there is some correlation to the events in the south of Thailand. The causation fallacy ("after this therefore because of this") is one of the most common and easiest to make. However, in this case I believe there is some validity to the connection between a general upswing in Muslim causes advanced by extremism, injustices (perceived and real) against Muslim people by the west and the severity of the current situation in Thailand.

The worsening of the overall situation has seen other events involving Muslim extremists play out in Thailand in recent years. Hambali was arrested here last year, and the recent report from the bipartisan 9/11 Commission in the US indicates that the plotters and bombers involved in the attacks may have met numerous times in Thailand leading up to the 2001 attacks against the US. Also, there are numerous countries surrounding Thailand with widespread abject poverty, corrupt officials and lingering hatred of the US from the cold-war era (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos) that make them logical places for extremist recruitment, training and smuggling (of weapons and potential components and agents for chemical or dirty bombs) routes that may lead to Thailand.

Speaking of Hambali and Jemaah Islamiya, (the south-east Asian terror organization responsible for the Bali bombing and an apparent affiliate of Al-Qaeda) a human rights lawyer from the south who was also representing members of JI terror suspects in court cases in Thailand,has gone missing. No serious political issue in Thailand is ever complete without at least a few disappearances.

Within the context of the problems in the south, the greatest fear is that a major terrorist attack will take place in either Bangkok or one of the big tourist island destinations such as Phuket. Such an attack would force the government to end years of denials and obfuscation regarding the seriousness of this issue and would also focus world-wide attention on Thailand's problems. While people would be no less safe in Thailand following a major attack than they are now, of course the perception would gain traction and tourism would take major hits. Sadly, the prevailing thought is that it is just a matter of time.

Cross-posted at: Flogging the Simian

Shameless Self-Promotion

In the past month or so I've made an effort to increase the frequency with which I post here, together with shamelessly publicizing this blog in various places in an attempt to increase the amount of traffic I receive. With more readers and feedback the motivation to continue posting remains high. The immediacy (and ease) of the medium is what keeps it going to a large degree. A website or blog of any kind will become more popular only if there is:

1. A constant influx of fresh content and

2. An attempt to disseminate the address and draw new readers in.

Of course there are other factors as well such as page design and obviously the quality of what is being posted. Once a certain image has been created and a site reaches a sort of critical mass, the flogging is no longer necessary and simple word of mouth and reader loyalty takes over.

Amazingly, in the early going many neglect the first tenet while focusing more on getting the word out that they in fact have a site regardless of what appears therein. In my research I've found a vast number of sites, discussion boards and directories of various kinds devoted to discussing and pontificating on which is the best way to publicize and increase traffic to websites. As with all endeavors, an esoteric jargon springs up regarding the topic that has become so important to so many, different theories have their adherents and various individuals try to exploit the desires of many.

The two most important facets of publicizing a site are search engines and getting link backs to your page on other sites. The two are related as the more web locations your site is linked on, the more credibility and recognition the search engines will give to you. This makes it more likely that you will appear near the top of the list when a search is done using key words as related to your site.

Because of this fact there are many dodgy online businesses that guarantee a person a top listing with all major search engines and increased traffic. There are also many ways to cheat the system such as slapping up dozens of sites with the sole intention of linking back to the one main site you operate. Just as with a student cheating on an exam, the energy spent trying to put one over could be time creating legitimate content (i.e. studying) and building up a readership through genuine hard work. With the potential to make money at stake and the key factor necessary to keep people coming back one skill that most people today lack--the ability to actually write moderately entertaining copy--many take whatever route is available.

This site, www.selfpromotion.com, is one that offers itself up as a sound, reasonable voice regarding how to market a website effectively. It is one that at first glance seems different than the others. What distinguishes it?

1. First and foremost it is well written in a simple, easy to understand and logical way. Also, it is not fraught with scads of typos and butchered syntax.

2. The writer points out important facts that are not always apparent to newbies and he does not resort to nonsensical jargon. What most people forget when trying to teach someone something new is that the assumptions they as the teacher hold regarding the topic at hand, is not known by those seeking the info. Patently obvious but a major error committed by poor teachers of any subject or discipline.

3. He doesn't immediately ask a person to sign-up or provide credit card details. However, as I discuss later, he does deftly make requests for payment that are woven throughout in less brazen ways than most sites.

4. He does provide what ostensibly seems to be valuable and effective information...

5. He points out the obvious absurdities regarding claims made by others and in the process further highlights his approach and advice as being unique. But is it really any different?

Throughout this simply designed site with the seemingly large amount of free information he has achieved that which is accepted to be the most important way to increase traffic to any site: link backs and referrals on other sites. Links to his site and praise show up on numerous discussion boards and sites I perused as well as other internet sites that I regularly visit such as this location. The apparent qualitative difference resonates...

However, it becomes clear to anyone who looks a bit closer that what he offers is simply more nuanced, and more cleverly presented than any of the other ham-fisted amateurs who are trying to dupe people. His information is different in degree not in kind. He accomplishes this in a number of ways.

As mentioned, his writing style is readable and often entertaining. The bulk of words surrounding a particular recommendation is little more than filler though, passed off as thorough instruction but really masking the fact that he is providing that which is available elsewhere to anyone with common sense. Specifically, he demonstrates his ability to extrapolate in his explanation on how to correctly register a site for Yahoo's search index database. The gist of his instruction could be summed up in a few sentences but he stretches it out to many hundreds of words. What he says is really patently obvious and reiterated by Yahoo on the very page where you submit information to be listed on their index.

He does emphasize a few points that might expedite the process but a person has really no way of knowing if this is the case unless they have previously botched an application (a person would have to be a real fool to fail at the simplistic procedure) and then tried again using his obvious tips. He does provide testimonials of people claiming just such an experience though impossible to verify their authenticity. Such a tactic has always been the stock and trade of self-anointed gurus; when a dubious claim arises simply provide "real" first person accounts.

Utilizing the most common logical fallacy of "causation" ("after this therefore because of this"), is likely how he convinces many people of his supposed wisdom on the subject. A person follows the steps for registering with Yahoo, bulked up with his entertaining banter and advice skillfully framed as if the person reading is privy to inside information. Then sure enough, shortly after having submitted your site to Yahoo, you will see traces of their web spiders having crawled your site. Again, something which would happen if a person went to Yahoo's site and registered without any prior advice.

That which he accuses other dodgy sites of, is something which he ultimately practices as well. He is much more clever in his approach, avoiding blaring out the paid services which he smoothly segues to at various points but which are not the centerpiece of his appeal. He comes across as knowledgeable and benevolent because of the quantity of free, but superficial advice he provides. Of course, the site submission tool that appears on the side bar and is mentioned in passing various times is what requires payment. The same type of submission service that he knocks others for selling.

Something else that for me is suspicious are the handful of places where he urges you to type in the details of your site so as to see a demonstration of various free tools he touts as advantageous to marketing your site. Would this result in a flurry of spam, a clever ploy to collect and sell that information to the other affiliate sites he mentions? Not sure...

The biggest giveaway however, is the listing of sites which he claims are ones that have demonstrated to him a professional appeal that necessitates his giving them a plug. It is obvious that these are individuals who have paid him for this service simply because their amateur quality highlights them as anything but exceptional.

The irony in all this is that because he has reached a level of popularity with so many online locations where his site is referred to, those who have coughed up and are linked to on his site (I am making the assumption that those listed are ones who have paid) will get some hits because of it. Just as I slam his ultimately disingenuous claims that his advice is qualitatively different than others I also say check it out for yourself.

It's interesting that regardless how well-written something is, it's almost impossible for the writer's words to not ultimately betray them if the person listening or reading pays close enough attention. That tinny, shrill falseness that the worst of shameless hawkers exude so obviously, still is not enough to clue many fools in as evidenced by the never-ending success of pyramid schemes and multi-level marketing scams. It's more subtle here, done so well that it almost becomes legitimate. Together with the endless number of individuals looking for something that is too good to be true, the popularity he has achieved is not surprising.

Goodbye Atlantic Online...



The past few years have likely been the golden age of the internet. Wide open unregulated access with the tripe of the earlier years relegated to oblivion and the remaining success stories those who offer quality content and user-friendly sites.

For a person who loves to read it has been like a dream come true. Unlimited volumes of free books, newspapers and online magazines provide endless hours of entertainment and education.

Alas, the growing trend, and arguably rightfully so, is for more and more of the free newspapers and magazines to move to some form of paid subscription.

The latest one to fall is one of the better ones regarding the quality of pieces they provide and the spectrum of political views that are explored. Mainstream to be sure, but one of the best in that category.

R.I.P. The Atlantic Online free access...

Update: Bangkok's New Underground Train

I received a good response from the review of Bangkok's new underground train that I posted a few weeks ago.

A poster over at Lonely Planet's discussion board where I cross-posted the review had a good idea; try to think of a nickname for the new underground system al a London's "Tube".

If you have any ideas e-mail me at pistonhips@gmail.com and I will post the best ones.

So far:

Banger's Burrow

Burrowbang

The Thai Tunnel (the TTT)

Subkok

Lightning Lotus

The Angel Express

Eventual Disaster (I'll meet you at Silom, I'm taking the Eventual Disaster)

Baa Train ("Crazy Train" with "baa" the Thai word for crazy)

Rote Fie Baa (also "Crazy Train" if spoken completely in Thai but could be bastardized into "Fiba" by foreigners and pronounced "feeba")