Bangkok Subway Not Ready to Re-Open

The recent subway crash in Bangkok and the subsequent fallout is a perfect example of current PM Thaksin's modus operandi regarding any issue that requires government input, guidance or at least comments that reflect some understanding of the problem. Hours after the crash, Thaksin insisted that it was because of "one incompetent driver." Strange how that one driver has caused the system to be shut down for a full 2 weeks with things set to re-open on February 1st.

Following the accident, those in charge of the new underground may as well have taken out full-page ads in the local newspapers, declaring

"WE ARE INCOMPETENT FUCKING FOOLS AND WE WOULD LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KILL OR AT LEAST CRIPPLE YOU."

Instead they have engaged in a series of farcical tests on the system, ostensibly to instill confidence in the public. This article in the Nation this morning clearly demonstrates that any person with a modicum of common sense and the self-preservation instinct will steer clear of these damn fools once the death trap re-opens.

The hint of sheepish collusion or simply embarrassment that they call these clods their fellow countrymen seems to have resulted in a slightly understated headline to this article. "Drill misses Target by 4 Minutes" seems a bit innocuous while suggesting some slight falling short of some sort of target. Inherent in the tone of the article is the collective gulping of those two-bit incompetent hacks sensing that they may just have to brace someone in charge and ask some tough questions. Or maybe not.

Further reading indicates that the drills were simulated emergency responses to a fire and the 4 minutes represents 80% over the accepted maximum time limit.

This alone indicates the system is not ready to re-open...full fucking stop.

One sentence within the article caught my eye. Never having worked as part of any type of emergency response unit, perhaps this is the correct way to proceed if a real fire were to happen on the subway system:

"All gates to the station were closed except one for allowing rescuers to enter."

Is slamming exits shut actually the logical way to proceed, assuming they were acting exactly as they would in a real fire? What about the cunts trapped underground? Wouldn't it make more sense to man those gates to prevent any people entering but also giving stray passengers an opportunity to escape? As opposed to providing a dead-end where fleeing apes can curl up in a ball and suck in the smoke that also has nowhere to go?

Coming so close to the February 6 vote, Thaksin will have no choice but to play his usual game of repeatedly insisting something to be true together with the steadfast declaration of some absurd time line. This is "the emperor has no clothes" mentality taken to bizarre levels, able to reduce any onlooker to a gibbering and incredulous fool.

Thaksin could cake his face with human shit and brazenly walk into a room full of reporters and unctuously claim that he is the epitome of sweet-smelling, infallible excellence. If someone dared to question him, he would screw his face up in a look of disdainful and petulant annoyance, the dried shit would crack, he would lick his lips and declare that no one correctly understood the problem and people were out to get him.

Fully unaware of the role that media should play in a democracy, Thaksin sees any legitimate questioning of his actions or words as being equivalent to an uppity employee daring to move beyond fawning sycophancy.

Let's see if anyone in the mainstream media will call the fool on this one.

Accident on the Bangkok Subway

It was bound to happen. In a culture where the ability to think clearly and independently is almost non-existent, the possibilities for a fuck-up in a complex, technology-based system are infinite. Upon reflection, it isn't surprising that the early weeks were error free while everyone was keyed up and determined to do a good job as the plaudits were flowing and the media cameras were clicking. Six months down the rail and already the monotony of routine has set in. Still, pointing to such a minor disaster as this as a true indicator of a collective cultural character while catastrophes in other nations are just one-offs, isn't completely fair.

Yet...it has been interesting to watch the post-collision narrative play out on this one. Immediately following the crash on Monday, the standard line that was thrown out and quickly repeated by many was "computer malfunction." This response was possible for 2 reasons. Of course there could have been some truth to it, or as part of what is a common trait of Thais, do whatever necessary to shift the blame for your own fuck-up. The logical result of this gutlessness is blaming the vast modern subway system of which those employees working within are probably scared shitless.

The screeching sounds heard a few hours later were the cogs in the skulls of the handful of semi-intelligent assholes at the top. It dawned on someone that if word got out that the computer system was faulty on a multi-billion dollar system that took 10 years to build, then there may develop a slight aversion amongst the public to travel on the new subway.

The story-line was quickly changed and advanced by PM Thaksin to "it was an incompetent driver." It seems incompetence may have been in the air as apparently passengers remained trapped in the train hammering to get out as staff scurried about for up to 20 minutes to find the keys...

Anything any government official says here is completely and utterly worthless and it can be assumed it is a lie. If the same cunts staffing the same government agency encountered the same fuck-up every day for 10 thousand years the assholes would never figure out that coming clean and trying to solve the problem is the best route to take. As well as providing the public with the truth that would instill a sense of confidence that those at the top may have a shred of competence, it would also instruct those citizens as to what course of action is best for them.

So, what the government says regarding this situation, as with everything, is meaningless. Of course, the supposed facts coming out could be true but it's better to look at any reported information as just an insane tale from the mouths of timid, colluding fools. If it were a contrived effort to stave off the inevitable truth that a more all encompassing incompetence once again ruled, the ham-fisted concoction still employs aspects that they would naturally expect to be part of any such mishap and thus included so as to appear plausible.

Namely the complete inability to think independently. This quote from an article from The Nation sums it up (again whether it is truth or fiction is irrelevant):

"The driver told the control room that he had released the B09 brake, and one official at the centre repeated what he had said without considering whether it was the correct thing to do," Prapat said.

"They worked like parrots – just repeating what others said without thinking about whether it was the correct procedure."

After a number of years here, I realize that the default reaction of most Thais when presented with a situation that is out of the ordinary, i.e. an impending fuck-up, is instead of taking precious seconds to think and respond, they will seek out input from someone else. In my experience, almost without exception, they trust anyone but themselves in any given situation. They are desperate to be told what to do so as to eliminate the need for thinking.

I know...I started this piece with the claim that it's good to avoid generalizations and we should look at the details of each situation. It's all speculation at the moment as my default reaction upon hearing about something like this is that a cover-up is taking place. The secondary batch of things being reported do seem to have a ring of truth. However, as I said, any fabrication would likely include such an angle, as abandoning of personal reactions and desperately seeking help from others or the mindless carrying out of insanely inappropriate orders guaranteed to cause mayhem are not uncommon here. It has likely occurred with many Thais in different situations and is therefore a familiar part of such tragedies.

"Where ignorance reigns, life is lost," is an apt truism that is proven time and again though thankfully nobody perished this time around. Unlike most traffic accidents involving a reckless bus driver who "fled the scene on foot," "was seen high-tailing it away from the accident," "sprinted into a nearby field," "was observed bug-eyed and yipping like a scared dog as he legged it down the street while injured and maimed passengers begged for help," at least this option was not available as the driver of the train in question was pinned inside.

Book Review: America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction--by Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show

From Jon Stewart's latest book: restore dignity to the current justices of the Supreme Court of the United States by matching them with their correct robes

This book reads like a lengthy satire magazine. Not surprising as it is a volume of political wit from Jon Stewart (and his staff of writers), the acclaimed current yank master. But it even looks like a glossy mag (cum bizarro world instruction guide), with loads of amusing inserts: pie charts, graphs and humourously bastardized words and pictures of famous philosophers and politicians. Photocopies of these clever additions (see above) are likely already adorning dorm room walls and cubicle separaters throughout the land.

Aimed at the college crowd and those under thirty who make up the apparent loyal and sycophantic following of Stewart's, they will hail this as another example of his brilliance. Having not yet seen his acclaimed television program I was free from any bias. After finishing the book I'm guessing his real talent is on the glass tit, though there are stll plenty of laughs to be had here.

While his brand of humour and delivery is near genius levels according to his fans, it is impossible to develop any type of real narrative using this style in print. Quips, one-liners, droll observations and the ever popular insertion of a current or recent pop-culture reference into an historical situation, morphing the 2 into amusing scenarios replete with double and triple entendres, are quickly established as the few gimmicks in his shallow but never empty trick-bag. As is the habit of fake quotes attributed to historical figures in which they use the word "fuck," which wears thin after the first half dozen times.

The grandiose claims that have adorned the public declarations and unctuous volumes, as well as the smarmy politicians who have peddled lies throughout history as highlighted against the true shit-caked, hypocritical reality, is the ostensible theme of the book. In fact, the real motif that eclipses that and exists throughout is...the collective wit of Stewart and the group of professional writers who assisted him. Not a bad substitute considering how skilled they are.

Ranging from "Democracy Before America," through the other nine blandly titled chapters covering various aspects of the US government system and closing with "The Rest of the World," the over-riding schtick is that it is meant to be a wacky textbook or helpful guide. The additional instructions supplied to "teachers" for classroom activities are often hilarious as are some of the graphics (for some reason the send-up of the Presidential library had me gagging with laughter) and the running gimmick allows for the loosely connected stand-alone chapters.

The huge heaping of sex-related jokes throughout will have the self-righteous bible beaters outraged. The ones who won't even read the book but will be extremely perturbed by its presence and popularity and will see it as another opportunity to try and dictate to others. As usual these clowns and their insidious, shrill pronouncements will backfire, as demonstrated by the load of free publicity gained when Stewart's book was most recently yanked from the shelves of some libraries in Mississippi as a result of the picture that appears at the beginning of this review.

Ruthlessly hammering and mocking everything in sight, where nothing is above being laughed at, is Stewart's stock in trade. This is something good, a mentality I share. Various ethnic and special interest groups all have their foibles and absurdities slammed, just as every lying duplicitous, hypocritical sack of shit politician is eviscerated, regardless of which party or ideology they have whored themselves out to...a true delight for the anti-PC crowd.

Before reading this book I knew it would inevitably be rated against the other two widely accessible left-leaning political humourists of yank origin—Michael Moore and Al Franken. Though much different in style, the similar target audience makes the comparison worthwhile. All generalists whose prose styles could be handled by a 12 year-old, they have convinced a new generation of adult readers that to have breezed through their offerings is to have a solid grounding in the issues of the day. Of the 3, I would peg Franken's Lying Liars book as the better overall volume in terms of readability, style and effectiveness. Moore's substandard polemics which play fast and loose with the truth, employ sweeping generalizations and are lacking in solid research are the poorest of the lot and a 2nd rate companion to his entertaining documentaries.

Stewart's first publishing endeavor is as consistent as it is limited in its scope. Unlike Moore and Franken, Stewart doesn't offer up the requisite "underneath all my sarcastic venom I know us yanks are still the best," type of jingoistic crap. A hip, jaded version of that underlying mantra most yanks casually accept, served up to appeal to as many as possible and avoid offending the tender sensibilities of those whose cries of "traitor" could affect future sales. Thankfully Stewart avoids this type of horseshit altogether.

With Stewart's obvious wit and shrewd analysis of politics and popular culture, this book could have been much better than the one-dimensional result. How about a longer set-up beyond the 2-sentence jokes that are rattled off? Another indication of his full conditioning by his work on the tube and a recognition of the average attention span of those most likely to be reading his book. Of course, business smarts in catering to a pre-existing audience and a desire to sell as many books as possible likely instructed the end product as well.

No doubt Stewart and his flunkies are astutely skilled in lampooning any subject they choose and rarely does this book descend into that "too clever by half" territory. His television audience will love this book, though curiously the aping of the steady delivery of one-liners that works so well on the tube left me feeling frazzled. The rapid-fire skewering of individuals and riffing on different subjects doesn't lend itself to being "the kind of book you can't put down." I would recommend this as a bathroom accompaniment or a beer and pizza-stained frat-house prop for referencing the humorous lines that appear throughout. Always being amazed at how different writers progress in style and scope, I look forward to future attempts by Stewart (though a compilation effort he most likely had a great deal of input) that move beyond a format he has already mastered and is best suited to television.

Rankist Generosity

As the aftermath of the tsunami continues to play out, Stalin's famous quote about a million deaths being a statistic while a single death is a tragedy couldn't be more true. The over-riding sentiment that seems to be attached to most stories is the rankist element that is part of any comment on individual or government sponsored contributions to the relief effort. There are also the accompanying desperate efforts to conjure up language that will express the feelings of shared grief but they just seem to...fall a bit flat.

What is tangible are the insinuations and outright scolding heaped on various nations and entertainment and sports superstars who haven't ponied up what is perceived to be an adequate amount. Those assertions crackle, are real, are something we can really associate with.

The one-upsmanship from various governments around the world can't help but be beneficial as the real amount of aid continues to increase. A closer look reveals that many strings are attached to various pledges. These dazzling promises and high figures may in part be based on low-interest loans and might well not materialize in full.

Donations made by various stars and duly advertised may also have ulterior motives, including an enhanced public image. Again, if the end result is more assistance, then it's great to see every overpaid thespian and steroid bloated pro athlete run scurrying to make a donation prior to their next interview so they can let the true figure roll off their tongue in a nonchalant way and appear genuinely moved.

Woe is the fool like Paradorn Srichiphan, a wealthy Thai tennis star, who made such a pathetically sniveling donation (10, 000 baht , about 250 US dollars) in comparison to his earnings, that he will most certainly pay for it in a real monetary way. The 10, 000 US he could have easily given will be eclipsed by the income loss he is sure to suffer as a result of this huge PR disaster.

Argue the rightness or wrongness of goading wealthy individuals into coughing up, but the fact is that failing to see in advance that this expectation was developing, means that a fool like Paradorn is ill-equipped to deal with all aspects of celebrity status. Such stars occupy an unreal position, are paid unreal amounts and thus are expected to demonstrate unreal and exaggerated displays of generosity. These individuals are given a great deal of leeway by most of the adoring and sycophantic public and an image of benevolence will solidify their standing. Come across as an ungrateful cunt and the public will happily join in as the media hammers them into remorse and humiliation.

Part of the whole post-disaster posturing is a sociological study in group-think. Is it a spontaneous outpouring and world-wide reaction or can people be routed into pre-existing emotional gatherings that they can latch onto? Is "the media" a sentient force that dictates our reactions or simply a reflection of our collective feelings?

Quite often humans do have the power to dictate how others will respond in any given situation. For example, in the case of a man trying to seduce a woman. Most fools recognize that females are the half of humanity who give off signals and indicate whether they are in any way interested in the attentions of a particular slob. Still, any tit who maneuvers into the position of being alone with a tart should realize that he holds the license for the negation of the woman's inhibition. All he has to do is issue the license and eliminate any simpering gestures of hesitation or that sickening coyness that some assholes from western nations exhibit around women. Avoid any behaviour that hints at and lets a woman buy into that contrived image of a pure virginal chastity and she will instead opt for that which she really longs for. To be stapled to the mattress with a rigorous and energetic shag.

The world-wide reaction to the tsunami disaster is most striking then, as compared to the response towards the slaughter that continues in Iraq. As succinctly pointed out and asked by Terry Jones (the same member of the Monty Python comedy troupe) in a commentary in the Guardian; what has contributed to such vastly different amounts of attention and monetary aid despite the similar toll in lives? Is it the sudden ferocity of the tsunami? The instant destruction? The belief that perhaps we could have been victims if we had vacationed at a different time and maybe, just maybe those foreign cunts with the strange culture and guttural language in Iraq might just have deserved what they got if only a tiny bit? The lack of media coverage (surely)?

Speaking of Iraq, the Guardian continues to demonstrate why it is the top online newspaper bar none with this account from an Iraqi film-maker in the days after the much touted route of Fallujah by US forces back in November. A bleak, macabre landscape greeted him, soaked with misery, desperation and rage. Most noticeably he asks, where are all the bodies of the insurgents the yanks claimed to have killed? He also guarantees that a civil war will kick-off in the very near future.

Maybe any amount of assistance for Iraq would open our eyes to just how horrific things are there at the moment and would highlight our own culpability in the massacre. Comparatively, our spontaneous and generous outpouring towards the countries affected by the tsunami strengthens our image of a world full of caring and just souls in which we all play an important role.

Balcony Time

Watching someone you know from a distance while they are unaware can be interesting. They may adopt certain "while-alone" mannerisms that are absent when in the company of others. It's an odd voyeuristic sensation and you can almost imagine yourself as you must appear when next to the individual.

Some people seem slightly at odds without a constant sidekick to validate their existence while other cunts thrive as lone...cunts.

There are many experiences that are part of the vast catalogue of deviancies and otherwise pedestrian activities that confirm the interest humans have in the lives of each other. One such enjoyable respite at the end of a long day is kicking back and observing the anonymous fools in the building opposite from you with a set of high-powered binoculars.

Back in my home country, I was housed in a vast complex of chicken coops where every po-faced cunt went to and from their own cramped hole with nary a smile or nod of acknowledgement to their fellow fuck-ups. A series of buildings faced each other at various angles but were far enough away that brazen surveillance attracted little or no attention.

Together with the realization that most people likely pay no heed to the possibility that someone could be watching them as evidenced by open curtains, windows etc., the other observation that registered strongest was the complete and utter banality of most cunts' lives (not too mention the fucker with nothing better to do than observe those stilted and dreary lives.)

While the obvious hope was to catch a balls-out fuck session, the main activity that I witnessed was mind-numbing repetitive behaviour. A surprising number of people pace about their small enclaves or engage in similar rote activity such as lurching up from their position in front of the glass tit, disappearing momentarily and then repeating a few minutes later.

End-of-the-day balcony time in Bangkok is an enjoyable contemplative few minutes alone with a few jars. There are no binoculars as the buildings are too close together to allow any covert observation, though you can still view the comings and goings of a few others who enjoy the same peaceful time alone. Though there is a fair amount of traffic on the soi below, it rarely breaks the peace because of the habit most Thais have of engaging in reckless driving without ever mashing the horn.

Everything becomes enveloped in a kind of slow-motion haze. Such abstractions as laws, manipulative horseshit perpetrated by others and all manner of pointless emotions disappear. It's especially therapeutic if undertaken just as the quality of light is staring to change. From the flat light of late afternoon to dusk and then suddenly the different world of Bangkok at night is upon you.

Fucking the Dog

Back in farangland, you could always spot the hopeless salesperson in the local coffee shop. They were the fools with pensive looks on their faces and some papers spread out in front of them covered in crumbs from the half dozen doughnuts they had just finished ramming down their throats.

Every subsequent pastry shop was a respite from their anxiety at accomplishing fuck-all and the opportunity to display the accoutrements of their trade for everyone to see. To luxuriate in a small hive of activity for a few moments in the day was better than the awkward silences and blank stares they faced from the cunts they were trying to manipulate into buying whatever worthless contrivance they were peddling.

These days the presence of all manner of electronic gadgets that have replaced the briefcase crammed with papers has added an extra facet to the coffee shop dogfucker. Show off your toys, fuck around surfing the net, phone the wife of the cunt you're competing with at work and try to arrange a surreptitious fuck session...anything but what you're getting paid to do.

As this article from the NY Times points out (registration required), it takes unlimited amounts of juice to keep the various toys operational and most major chains, such as the ubiquitous Starbucks, are only too willing to oblige with the "free" usage of electrical outlets for patrons while they are slurping back $5.00 dollar cups of coffee.

Strangely enough, while the bloated desperate whore mongers who cruise the beer bars of Bangkok are rarely toting around laptops, they too are looking for the nearest receptacle to plug.

Movie Review: Insomnia

It's rare to watch a crime drama that does not have its share of tired cliches woven into the plot. Insomnia, starring Al Pacino and Robin Williams, is no exception.

To list a few: an aging and jaded cop—Pacino's Will Dormer—haunted by a case from his past; a supposedly highly intelligent perpetrator of a gruesome crime who engages the lead investigator in a psychological duel, initiating the "game" via unexpected phone calls; a female police officer who decides to take it upon herself to head out alone to collect some evidence from a potentially dangerous suspect, thus setting up the climax.

Bolstered by a handful of Academy award nominations, I had high expectations for this film.

A murder has taken place in a small town in Alaska and the local hick investigators are having problems solving the crime. Called in to help from Los Angeles, Will Dormer along with his partner Hap Eckhart (played by Martin Donovan) have an internal affairs investigation hanging over their heads back in the City of Angels, with a likely deal to be cut by Eckhart meaning that Dormer's reputation will be ruined. The result is antagonism from Dormer towards his partner that is subordinated with an ostensible professionalism and desire to solve the case with which they were sent to help.

The legend Dormer quickly puts together a ploy to snag the killer (another cliche—an obvious lure that is fed to the media and which the killer quickly falls for) and the locals and the 2 LA detectives descend on the scene of the plant. It seems the school bag of the teenaged girl who has been murdered was already found. Let's replace the contents with rocks, put it back where we found it and let the media report that if we really find it we should be able to crack the case. A shadowy figure promptly appears as the cops look on from their hiding spots and Dormer mistakenly plugs his partner as they chase down the killer in the fog. The killer gets away and Dormer lets the assumption stand that the brutal murderer also topped his partner.

This is really no more than a 2nd rate crime flick with the added scthick being that Dormer is unable to sleep during his time in the fictional Alaskan town of Nightmute. Haunted by his past, what has just occurred and the 24 hours of daylight that is part of life during the summer months in the far north, Dormer starts to come unhinged.

It's as if the director, Christopher Nolan, decided to add the additional bit about being unable to sleep so as to provide a plausible cover for Pacino's sleepwalking performance. Except for a few exceptions, Pacino has been coasting through a series of roles in the past few years and it seems as though the nomination he received for this movie was based on name recognition alone. Sure there are a few flashes of quality acting here and the trademark borderline rages from Pacino, but combined with the fairly lame concept and script, the accolades seem overblown.

The theme is that tried and true crime drama nugget...the past always catches up with you, take one wrong turn and you'll eventually pay the price, the end doesn't justify the means etc.

Robin Williams as the twisted mystery novel writer who thinks he's more clever than he really is, comes off as a caricature of so many similar performances from others in the past. The plaudits apparently flowed because of the contrast of this role compared to the usual characters he takes on, but I just can't see the brilliance every cunt and his movie-watching goldfish chimed in with when Insomnia was released in 2002. The cinematic psycopath and the one-upsmanship involved as subsequent screenwriters try to come up with the perfect non-sequiturs and odd reactions imbued with creepiness has resulted in many implausible and unintentionally amusing performances. It's hard to do well and of course any actor is limited by the dialogue and context with which they are provided.

The instant familiarity as Dormer and Finch settle in for some psychological tete-a-tetes where each professes to be more versed in the ways of the world and the workings of the mind are similarly unlikely. The fact that Dormer seems ready to nod off during these interactions because of his lack of sleep again adds unintended comic relief.

Detective Ellie Burr, played by Hillary Swank, is the local cop, a naive sycophant who looks up to Dormer and is assigned to investigate the shooting of Eckhart as the other more serious investigation continues. At first a cursory job, appearing simpler because of the meddling by Dormer to cover his tracks, Pacino's character at the same time urges her to put more effort into it. The message is clear...Dormer is torn and ultimately wants to be caught, at the same time allowing the young female cop to see the correct path.

Likely Mad magazine did its usual takeoff with this as they do with most Hollywood movies. They must have had a field day with the abundance of material to lampoon this flick. From the dangerously sleep-deprived zombie, Dormer, who turns into a walking disaster while others casually look on, to the amateur local cops who are painfully aware of their own shortcomings. Those cops who are supposedly trained to find murderers, rapists etc., but wait...they're hicks who needed help flown in so they can be forgiven...but then the young female cop inevitably shows her brilliance, but then as mentioned she heads out alone, going against protocol and failing to take a partner just for excitement. The scene where Dormer shoots a dog carcass in a back lane in broad daylight (or is it night?) so as to obtain the bullet to switch with the real one retrieved from his partner's dead body, is another example where the suspension of disbelief didn't work.

There are still some good scenes here and there are certainly others in the genre that are much worse. As a character driven drama, I suppose Insomnia requires a person to be completely taken with Pacino's acting. The disappointment is what sticks here, with Pacino as the conflicted detective not carrying the film (though certainly the dominant performance) as many others have claimed. Though the setting is Alaska, the movie was filmed in British Columbia, Canada, and the beautiful scenery and flat natural lighting add to the atmosphere and is another aspect that at least makes the film worth checking out.

Sex and the Church--A Lecture by Alan Watts



Alan Watts was an English writer, philosopher and orator who was singularly skilled in interpreting Eastern religions and philosophies and distilling them into easily understood and appealing sentiments for western audiences. He moved to the US to study religion as a young man, earning a master's degree in theology and becoming ordained as an Episcopalian priest. Having been interested in a wide range of eastern religions even as a youngster growing up, he furthered his education in this area at various institutions in the US. He really came into his own in the 1950's and '60's, when he started writing and speaking prolifically in the US and elsewhere on the subjects that were so much a part of his life.

He dabbled on the fringes of new age celebrity status during that time, associating with the likes of Aldous Huxley, Timothey Leary et al, but still remains largely unknown to many.

Though his books have remained relatively popular since his death in 1973, with the burgeoning power of the internet to disseminate information, he continues to gain posthumous praise and new fans.

Besides his books and essays, there are dozens of his recorded lectures which can now be easily obtained at various locations on the net. Usually generalist and topical in nature, they tie in some aspect from any number of religious teachings that originate in Eastern countries and are applied to something that was (and usually still is) relevant to the audience of the day.

Possessing a sonorous and easy-to-listen-to voice, the recordings would be a good starting point for anyone interested in exploring different spiritual outlooks from around the globe. A highly skilled speaker, Watts never talks down to the audience, and despite the sometimes annoying habit of laughing at his own jokes (and thus prompting the rapt audience members to erupt as well,) these are some truly thought-provoking pieces.

The recorded lecture entitled Sex and the Church concentrates on Christianity more than the Eastern religions he normally talked about, though inevitably comparisons enter into Watts' discussion.

Though every organized religion seems to have strange and distorted views of human sexuality, Christianity has forged a monumentally fucked-up and repressive obsession with the human genitalia and related urges. At the same time, Watts argues, this dominant role that sex plays in the church is also an undeniable indication of its importance in Christianity.

At the root of most major condemnations that flow from bible beaters and their leaders are those related to the pelvic thrust. Not lies, not attempts to defraud, not hatred, malice or violence, but primarily any and all things sexual. "Living in sin" and anything "immoral" is almost inevitably related to some form of fucking that has not been authorized by the church. "Sexual regulation societies" is what Watts calls most Judeo/Christian based churches in western societies.

Why is this so?

Because, as Watts points out, eating and fucking are our most fundamental ties to the material world. The point at which we can become most attached to the physical organism we inhabit.

Secondly, and more subtly, we cannot rid ourselves of our sexuality. Religion as repressed sexuality or sexuality as a manifestation of the divine? This is a question that Watts poses and comes back to explore more thoroughly near the end of his talk.

Watts argues that the negative connotations are in themselves an expression of sexuality. "A peculiar form of eroticism" is the result of creating such a longstanding taboo out of sex. But Watts also says that the whole anti-sex tradition is not as "anti" as it appears.

Behind this most ultimate of physical pleasures and the resulting attachment is the impermanence of life. Inherent in the emphasis on detachment from the body that is part of all religions is this moral fixation on sexuality. The degree you identify yourself with the pleasures of the body is the degree to which you will be sucked away by the force of transience.

Underlying the emphasis on detachment is a problem according to Watts. And that is, why is there a physical universe at all? If this existence is such an inescapable snare, and we should be so wary of that which is presented as reality, then WHY?

According to some theologies, the world is in fact looked upon as mistake, a fall from divinity. A rational soul in charge of an animal body is the result. The divided human...the soul and the body as dueling entities that make up the whole, is a longstanding theme in many beliefs.

Here is where Watts departs. Though we are all falling apart, this is not something to be lamented but is truly part of the splendor of being alive. Watts goes off on a bit of a tangent here stating that one day the replacement of all our decaying parts, limbs, organs etc. as we age, will be end the result of our obsession with staying young. The fallout will be artificial and bored fools, as plastic as the materials used to prolong their lives.

After the brief bit of prophecy, Watts homes in on the theme of duality that crops up in most of his books and speeches, a result of his understanding of eastern religions. In other words, without decay there cannot be vitality, just as one is inherent and represented by the other. Just as, in fact, black represents white and vice versa.

"Supreme moments, superb vitality." The importance of reacting, taking steps to make things happen, as in the timing of music and that urgency that is part of youth, are 2 such examples. So too, timing is of the essence in matters of both sexuality and that other most real connection with physicality, all the pleasures associated with the art of gastronomy. "And then it's happened and you've had it..." as he says, but this should not impart a feeling of regret. The only genuine facet of regret is not taking it when you had the chance.

Detachment should not mean that you must remove yourself from participation. Complete participation but still detached...this is where Watts comes to the point he does in every lecture and one that presents a conundrum, signifies the limitations of language for most others. Usually it as this point where he demonstrates his skill in providing some clarity to certain concepts.

Not a blase, mien of nonchalance, with your thoughts elsewhere while you are furiously hammering away...not a way of being anxious about physical pleasure, so afraid that some there is a certain way it's supposed to be that can never quite be attained. Empty, desperate machinations, so you want it again and again (kind of like the phenomenon whereby someone eats bland food and keeps cramming it in because they are never satisfied). When you're grasping for something you cannot fully experience it. Holding on too hard takes the life out of something transient. This, says Watts, is the danger in becoming too attached to the physical world.

In the second part of the lecture, Watts delivers an amusing anecdote on the initiation ritual of confirmation he experienced as a young lad. Not some wise passing on of special knowledge from the reverend in his church where he grew up but a stern warning on...the evils of masturbation. Nothing more that a standard spiel on jacking off, replete with the assortment of ailments that were sure to befall every young boy who couldn't resist.

He also provides a brief history on the rising and falling tides of morality within the church. Marriage was initially a social institution to strengthen the alliance between families. Politics, eugenics and the bargaining process that was part of the union meant that inevitably perfect matches rarely occurred and getting a little bit on the side was not uncommon. Idealization of women as goddesses in the middle ages changed things somewhat and coincided with the growing cult of romantic love. The institution of marriage became intertwined with such notions. What also flowed from this was that such sentiments started to infuse the laws of the day. The person you married was the person you should love and the only relationship where sex should have been allowed to occur was marriage.

Periods where prudism towards sexuality were in ascendancy were contrasted by the presence of lasciviousness during those same times, such as the Victorian era, and here again Watts comes back to the theme of interdependence, the fact that one cannot exist without the other.

Watts also argues that according to a defender of the faith, the church could be held up as symbolically nothing but sex as opposed to repressed sex while those who make sex their god are the ones repressing religion. Sexual biology in turn reveals the mystery of the universe, and is not obscured but evident in the paintings, interior design and architecture of many of the great churches of the world.

While Watts is mainly playing the contratian here, this supposes a monolithic and continuing consciousness of "the church" that suggests a secret and shared understanding all leaders and followers. However, a powerful sociological aspect of all group behaviour means that every sap who is part of the process does not have to be acutely tuned in to a higher awareness to help carry forward the definitive character.

Still, the more plainly erotic manifestations of artwork in other religions is simply an undeniable statement of how fundamentally part of the cosmos human sexuality is and more proof of the different attitudes that prevail in the western world.

Watts finally comes to the crux of his speech and what I had been expecting. Those few seconds of orgasm that over a lifetime may add up to a few hours seem almost patently to be one the easiest ways to approach a higher plane without any dedication or discipline. One of the oldest and most basic charges against organized religion is of a concerted attempt to control the masses. Surely the attempts to imbue with fear and demonize that which represents something more powerful than they could ever offer are part of the skewed, eons-long fixation.

"The ultimate sacrament in bringing lovers together." This is why sexuality is degraded when fools say that it should only be carried on for purposes of procreation. In fact "that is what animals do." "Mystical intoxication," becomes the ideal goddess. "Scales taken off the eyes"--by this I assume Watts means the inevitable comparison that many indulge in when looking at potential mates and which has to cease before someone will enter the realm of lover.

Returning once again to the theme of duality Watts states that opposition to prudery goes overboard. Where do you draw the line? The battle of morals represents the same complementary aspects that are part of everything. Moralists mustn't be obliterated or the resulting total hedonism would become bland and plastic. Libertines and prudes need each other. The tension that exists between them is what helps makes the world go round.

The problem with trying to relay the gist of a lecture by Watts is the same as trying to retell a good joke from a master comedian. It falls a bit flat in the translation. Also, unlike in print, a lecture will rely on simpler language and the skill of the speaker to pass on not only ideas but an overall feeling. Like a good novelist or film-maker who takes a simple almost cliched idea and makes it work, the cumulative and combined effects of an Alan Watts lecture are what makes it enjoyable.